Lost

About two years ago I wrote a short piece as I was approaching my birthday, reflecting on the state of affairs in my life at that time.

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Thirty-four.

It hit harder than I expected it to - I've never been one to worry about the passing of birthdays. It's just another year, I told myself, just like I always do - it happens every October, and it never so much as registers a blip on my personal radar screen.

But thirty-four is different.

This year, I'm a failure - on the way down instead of struggling to move forward. I'm not getting closer to success; in fact, I'm not even standing still anymore - the ground beneath me is unsteady, and I'm slipping backwards as my plan for the future fades into yet another unattained dream.

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Another birthday approaches (thirty-SIX for those who care.....LOL ), and I am struck and saddened by exactly how similar things are two years later. 

And I'm still just as lost for answers..........