Capture

These few lines have taken on a life of their own since I wrote them nearly two years ago for a writing group I belong to, and are the first lines - and the driving idea - of the novel I am currently working on.  Maybe it will even be finished some day.

Beautiful is far too cliche for a girl like her - and not terribly accurate either.

Entrancing, or maybe captivating?

Yes, captivating - that's the right word. I was definitely a captive from the first moment I looked into that girl's intoxicating deep brown eyes.

Listen to me, calling her a 'girl' like I'm some pubescent teen chasing the head cheerleader - no, she was all woman.

And she turned my world inside out like a tidal wave - completely fascinating, yet utterly devastating.

Cafeteria

He found it funny how similar the men are to pubescent youngsters - and frankly, the same was true of the women; very much like middle-schoolers.  The men group together and talk 'trash', bragging about sexual escapades and sporting exploits that probably never really happened, just like a collection of thirteen year old boys.  Meanwhile, the women sit in one corner, trying to appear proper and reserved while spreading gossip faster than cheap tabloids - in hushed voices, of course - in much the same way one might see a gaggle of giggly pre-teen girls..........

Nose Tackle

The mud caked on the bottom of his cleats made his feet feel heavy as he walked from the huddle to the line of scrimmage and took a knee, waiting for the Blue offense to break huddle.  His rain-soaked jersey clung to him as if it were painted on, and his teeth chattered against his mouthguard as a stiff wind battered the young lineman.  Cold was an understatement - until the offense approached the line.  As he took his three-point stance, he shot a steely gaze at the opposing center and emotion boiled over, warming him to the core.  The ball was snapped; he let out a fierce roar and attacked the Blue line as if trying to defeat the source of the cold itself......

Damage

She exited my life in the same manner she entered, turning it inside out like the tornado that devastates a town and the sunrise that brings a new day all in one glorious, tragic package. I fell hard and instantly the first moment I spent with her; every moment thereafter drove my love and desire to new heights until the instant, unforeseen end ruined my faith and my present.

Our lives burned with passion in all aspects, whether we were making fiery, animalistic lust-driven love or battling over the latest wedge-driving political issue. And she was the embodiment of intensity and energy – whether she was bright yellow sunshine or deep blue midnight, there was no middle – she would push to the furthest end of the spectrum…..and then break even that barrier.

And in the end, she broke me, too.

Coincidence? Or grasping at straws?

I was having a discussion via text with a friend about my recent lack of success in submitting writing pieces to various publications.  I generally text using the "T9" predictor method - much faster than standard typing.

During this discussion, I attempted to type the word "rejected".  Typed quickly and moved on, catching a moment too late that the first word the predictor chose for that combination was not, in fact, "rejected".

Instead it pulled up "selected".

At first, I found it amusing that the same combination of keys created two very opposite words.  Then I began thinking.......is it some sort of sign?  A coincidence that holds more significance than a simple coincidence should hold?

Or am I simply grasping at straws, trying to find a positive in the giant pile of negative that recent times have become for me?

Stuck in a rut......

I'm plugging away with seemingly little production to show for it.  I refuse to stop writing, but so little of what I'm putting to paper lately has any real value that I'm having a difficult time staying the course.  I desperately need some inspiration.......

Help Me!!

No, it's not an S.O.S. - I just need readers.

I've entered a piece of my writing in a contest at a site called AuthorStand.  A portion of the contest factors in the ratings given to the story by those who read it.  The voting period runs through December 8th, and my story has had very few readers so far.

It's a piece entitled "Learning The Hard Way".  I can't say I've had an objective opinion on it so far, so it's entirely possible that it sucks.  But it's only a few pages long, so it won't waste too much time even if you hate it.  :-)

Here is the link - you have to click on "Download story" and it will bring it to you as a PDF file.
Learning The Hard Way

Lost

About two years ago I wrote a short piece as I was approaching my birthday, reflecting on the state of affairs in my life at that time.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * 


Thirty-four.

It hit harder than I expected it to - I've never been one to worry about the passing of birthdays. It's just another year, I told myself, just like I always do - it happens every October, and it never so much as registers a blip on my personal radar screen.

But thirty-four is different.

This year, I'm a failure - on the way down instead of struggling to move forward. I'm not getting closer to success; in fact, I'm not even standing still anymore - the ground beneath me is unsteady, and I'm slipping backwards as my plan for the future fades into yet another unattained dream.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Another birthday approaches (thirty-SIX for those who care.....LOL ), and I am struck and saddened by exactly how similar things are two years later. 

And I'm still just as lost for answers..........

It's a little bit funny.......

As I write this post, I find myself thinking of Pedro Cerrano.

Pedro Cerrano was the home-run hitter for the Indians in the hilarious movie "Major League".  But he had one major problem:

He couldn't hit a curveball if you gave him a sniper rifle and stopped the ball mid-pitch.  Which led to many very humorous moments throughout the movie, until at the end of course, where in cliche Hollywood style he finds a way to hit the curveball to be one of the big heroes.

What exactly does any of this have to do with writing?

Well, I find myself facing curveballs lately.  For example, the pieces I mentioned for the Safety Pin Review (see previous post) were all rejected.  Not fun, right?  But the email I received from the site's owners was not only personal (rather than a cheesy form letter), but it contained positive comments about my writing.

And those positive comments are the only non-familial positive feedback I've received in a long time.  In a freaking rejection letter.

Another example: my book(s).  Several years ago, I began work on a novel.  A novel that has sat dormant for months because I kind of lost my way on the story and haven't had the energy or inspiration to try to drag it back on course.

Meanwhile, the only real productive work I've accomplished lately is on what I think is becoming a novel.  A piece that started out as a six sentence short, but somehow took on a life of its own.  A book that I didn't set out to write has far and away eclipsed the book that I've struggled toward for the last few years.

Which of course, isn't productive at all in the short run, leading to curveball number three - the only writing that seems to be flowing out of me lately is work that isn't suitable to submit to paying markets or contests, while I'm so blocked on those type of pieces that I've missed deadlines on well over half of the contests and markets I've targeted.

I need a bigger bat.

A really cool idea!

In my search for contests and markets, I ran across this amazing new site. Turns the literary e-zine genre on its head in my opinion.

Safety Pin Review

A totally cool new way of promoting writing pieces, along with a different take on flash fiction. I really hope the venture works out for the people behind it.

I've submitted a few pieces, so keep your fingers crossed - maybe this writer-in-progress will soon grace the back of a leather jacket!

A long overdue return.....

What do you call a writer's blog without a writer?

This one, recently.

I've been buried in a horrible writing funk.

But something occurred to me. What do writers do to solve a problem?

They write. Duh.

Yes, I'm not technically a writer yet. But it doesn't mean I can't apply the same tenet. So, I commit once again to writing my way out of this.

I've actually seen some productivity recently - several finished and/or re-worked pieces have been submitted to contests, and I've re-started my writing journal.

So, follow my rejuvenated journey here - it ought to be one hell of an interesting ride!

Funk

I'm in a funk.

My "structure" plan isn't working either. Well, actually that's not quite accurate. I think the plan works very well and will make me a more disciplined and productive writer.

But it's not achieving the desired results because the plan doesn't kick me in the ass and get me moving. I lack motivation. I'm fatigued and feeling very down lately. And while writing will usually help me through times like that, I can't find the energy and motivation to put pen to paper or finger to keyboard.

I have plans and outlines for several articles, a short story and a few posts for my sports blog. Yet they sit in their respective folders, unfinished. Unwritten.

And I can't seem to find my way back to them.

However, perhaps you'll notice the box in the left hand column with recently published items - topped by a new sales article. The one thing I've finished lately. Now if I could just make my way to Parts 2 and 3 of it.

So far, so good......

Perhaps the structure plan was exactly what was needed. Something to give me a little push when I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by life. Maybe I needed to remember that writing used to be my way of dealing with that overwhelmed feeling.

I'm making progress on several different projects, and haven't had a day where I've failed to pick up my pen and notebooks. And I've revived my Twitter and Facebook accounts as platforms to promote projects while also reconnecting with those who have supported my writing in the past.

I've even restarted my sports blog with this post: Let's try this again....

I'm feeling very good about this so far.

Or possibly I was wrong......

OK, so I kind of gave the fun plan a shot. Then my salesperson background kicked in.

Maybe the key is structure. As a salesperson, when I found my motivation flagging I'd lean on structure; a game plan - tracking my activities and setting goals for what I was going to accomplish that day or week.

So I've created a system to follow - a plan that requires a certain number of submissions, blog posts, etc. per week. A "kick in the ass" on a sheet of paper, so to speak.

We'll see how it works.

Attitude

I think I may have stumbled upon the solution to my recent writing "blahs" - in, of all places, my son's hockey team.

For the past three years, I've been coaching his teams. And put very simply, I base the team's plan on a very simple coaching philosophy:

1. Have fun
2. Improve as hockey players
3. Focus on the value of sportsmanship

And while the team battled their opponents this Saturday, I realized something. I didn't start writing when I was younger because I wanted to make money. I grew up planning to be a nurse. (Long story.) Writing was fun, not drudgery.

Now obviously sportsmanship doesn't apply much to my writing. But perhaps I've been missing the point. I think it might be time to go back to planning my writing based on having fun and improving as a writer......and then let the chips fall where they may.

Stagnant

I have no idea what's wrong with me lately.

I'm fulfilling my New Year's resolution of writing every day in some fashion. However, lately everything I've written is toward one specific work-in-progress that:
(a) I'm not even certain where it's leading, and
(b) Has zero chance of making me ANY money in the near future. And possibly zero chance ever, since I don't have a clear plan for the project.

My fledgling sports blog stagnates, as I've struggled to find the motivation to write for it. My goal of submitting to more paying markets this year has also fallen by the wayside, and I even missed the deadline for a quarterly contest that I always enter because it simply slipped my mind in my recent state of writing apathy.

And my damn elbow still hurts.

OK, I'm done whining now.

Invisible Ink

When I was a child, I had a fascination with the trick of invisible or disappearing ink. It was a thrill, not to mention somewhat empowering, to be able to write something that no one else could read unless I gave them the ability. Of course, the various tricks had their limits, but I never cared – it was simply “cool”. Besides, I was certain I’d someday use my intelligence and love of science to invent an improvement that would render the trick more practical.

As I ventured into my teenage years, I discovered new value for the childhood gimmick as I filled my journal with thoughts, ideas and secrets that I certainly didn’t want my parents or siblings to read. I often wished I’d spent less time playing hockey and more time experimenting with my chemistry set; instead, I had to make do with good hiding places – and the occasional “booby trap” to ward off a nosy brother!

But perhaps “invisible ink” isn’t merely a child’s trick after all. As an adult I often write with the “grown-up” version of invisible ink – words that the world at large will never see because they were rejected by publishers, or because they only appeared on paper as a form of therapy; expressing complex feelings, fears and secrets in a solitary counseling session before meeting their ultimate fate in a shredder or trash can.

The rejection is difficult – and it doesn’t get any easier as time wears on. It’s certainly a blow to my ego to be informed that my work isn’t good enough to be accepted by the publication I’ve pursued. I long for my words to be enjoyed by others, while also, perhaps selfishly, longing to earn my living pursuing this craft that I love. I seek ways to leave this unfortunate form of invisible ink behind, but without much success to speak of so far. But I write on – I put pencil to paper and fingertip to keyboard in a dance that may torture my mind, but still often manages to comfort my heart and soul.

Progress, sweet progress!

I guess I needed New Year's to hit in order to get the writing going again. Elbow issues that are radiating pain into my hand are trying to derail me, but I battle forward toward my goal of writing in some fashion every single day.

Six out of eight so far since my resolution - it's progress, so I'll take it for now.

Most of my work has been on a project that I quite frankly have no idea what the final destination is - it began as an ultra short story for an online writing group I belong to, but has simply grown and I suppose could be headed toward a novel in the long run......not really sure exactly, but I'm enjoying the journey.

I'm also working on posts for my sports opinion blog, which is unfortunately taking some time to get really up and running. I'm hopeful that by the end of the month I'll have things really cranking over there - for those who are interested, I've placed a link in the left sidebar under "Interesting Reading".

Now if only I could make progress with the elbow pain.